1. You are loved. You are God's daughter and He loves you more than you can imagine... Jeremiah 31:3 says spells it for you. If you're not familiar with the verse, check it out! Until you can accept God's steadfast, forever lasting, overpowering love, hold off on dating. You don't want to end up settling for something that doesn't fill your heart's longing. If you are feeling that no one is interested or no one is pursuing you, guess what, that's okay!! You have the most important person always pursuing you and loving you... You just have to look up. Jesus is pursuing you.
2. Dress to impress. We all want to look good and feel good about ourselves. And there is nothing wrong with that! Our body is our temple and we should cherish how God created us. However, don't falsely advertise what is not available to anyone but your future husband. Not only are you respecting yourself by doing so, but you're also helping your brothers in Christ by dressing modestly. By all means, dress fashionably and embrace your femininity! Just be sure to know your motives when you put something on :)
3. Your beauty lies in Christ. By yourself, you are made ugly by sin. As bad as that sounds, it's true that until you find your beauty in Christ, we are all made ugly by worldly sin. No amount of makeup, accessories, or brand name clothing is going change that. It takes a woman redeemed in Christ to admit the ugliness of her sin and accept her beauty in Christ. True beauty emanates from understanding this.
4. What is controlling your heart? Are you being controlled by loneliness, desire for a man, etc.? Chase after Jesus and let Him control your heart. It's so important that whether you are being pursued or not, dating or not yet in a relationship, or even married, that you always ask yourself what or who is controlling you. The answer should always be Jesus. Unfortunately though, we aren't perfect and we do get caught up in worldly desires and settle for lesser gods. It's at those times that we need to acknowledge that our heart isn't quite in the right place and adjust the situation.
5. Look past the surface. So many of us are so concerned about looking cute for a date, or finding just the right thing to say. We put so much pressure on ourselves to look the part wherever we go that we often times forget that a godly man will also be concerned about inner beauty. After all, that's what God is all about. A woman who fears the Lord is one who despite her desire to find a guy, is more afraid of being distant from God than she is of missing out of a date with a guy who is only interested in her because of her looks. It feels so good to be loved by someone that we often allow ourselves to settle for someone who tells us we are beautiful. But please, be patient! Don't settle, rely on God's love for you, his daughter.
6. Submit! God asks for our submission every day, right now in fact. Submission is not only for marriage. God wants your heart. He wants you to trust in His plan for your life, including the dating aspect. Ultimately, this an overcast on everything in life. Submit everything you have to the Lord and allow Him to take over. It's all about waiting and trusting. Let God's will be done. With that being said, I used to feel so helpless and a little discouraged when I thought about this idea of submitting my dating life to God. I literally felt like I just had to wait around until He decided to conveniently place my future husband right in front of me. As silly as it sounds, that's basically how I looked at it. But that's not true at all! A godly woman with good intentions can express friendly interest in someone..
- It's okay to get to know someone- just don't give them false intentions! Don't manipulate.
- Be interested, but don't pursue. It's important to let him initiate anything.
7. Guard your heart. This is something that I take very seriously. Guarding your heart can be a little difficult even if no one is openly pursuing it. Watch out for the traps that get you to thinking that he MIGHT be flirting with me, he MIGHT be interested in me. If he is, he will let you know. Don't get caught up in wondering where things could go when you have never even spoken to the guy. It sounds easy enough, but it's harder than it sounds for some girls! If you do start dating or he takes you out, it's awesome to be excited about it.. You should be! But be sure that you are honoring God, yourself, and your brother in Christ. Don't elevate him or you relationship to the place that God alone who occupy in your heart. Be careful how much of your heart you give you to a man. Be able to walk away from a relationship with your whole heart intact so that your future husband is not robbed of pieces down the road. Pray about when, how much, and to whom you give it away to.
Okay, so there you have it! Those are my beliefs and what I like to follow. And the wonderful thing about these principles is that they are forever evolving. As my relationship with the Lord grows and deepens, He teaches me so much. I look at what I have written and I see how over the last year these beliefs and opinions have changed, It's been such a blessing to share with these girls what I feel more girls need to know and hear. While I've been able to help and advise my friends, little do they know, they are always teaching me as well. Fellowship is so beautiful.
Again, if I am being honest, I am no expert on the subject and I myself how to work daily on following out these beliefs. After having experienced being in an ungodly relationship, I can tell you that these beliefs stay close to my heart. I know what doesn't work and I have the strongest desire to give this area of my life fully to God. I trust Him completely.
I'm not here to push my opinions on anyone and I pray that it doesn't come off that way. I'm here to let you know that you're not alone in wanting a godly relationship. If you've been in the situation where you know that your relationship is no longer centered in Christ (or maybe never has been), I pray that you have the strength to first, acknowledge it, and second, to do something about it. I've been there. I've struggled whole-heartily with it. I can't say that my lesson was learned without first having made mistakes. I had to learn the hard way, and God had to beat me over the head for awhile before I finally accepted what I knew to be true... I promise you, God satisfies you more than any man will ever be able to. Fall in love with Christ. Bury your heart so far in your faith that a man has to seek God to find it. I believe that right there is a true love story.
