As I mentioned in my previous post, I dated a guy for a year. We began dating in October 2011 of my freshman year of college. He is 2 years older than me and an absolute gem. Just recently (about a month ago) he ended things. As you can imagine, it's been a roller coaster type month full of emotions.
When we began dating, we had the relationship that everyone around us wanted. We were the typical "love birds" and he was the perfect boyfriend. I genuinely felt like God has placed this man in my life for a reason. I had waited out for the most part in the dating scene and I felt that Scott was my reward. In May 2012, I flew out to Cali to visit Scott's family. It was during that trip that I knew I could spend a lifetime and more with him. I have never felt stronger for a person than I did about Scott. We spent a night just outside San Francisco and it was one of the best nights of my life, which is ironic because the night ended as such a disaster!!
Let me just take you through that evening. We went out to dinner with his Aunt at an Italian restaurant in Saucalito. It was my first time meeting his Aunt and I was overwhelmed with joy when meeting her. She is the kind of person that lights up a room when you talk to her and you can't help but smile :) She is truly an amazing person. After spending time with her that night, Scott and I were to spend the night at his Grandma's condo. His grandma was out of town and we were told there would be a spare key outside on her porch. Well, after an hour or so of searching every square inch possible, we concluded that we should just stay with his Aunt. On the way back to his aunt's house, I cried in the car as he was driving... Pure tears of happiness. I had never felt so happy in my life, so in tune with another person, so in love, so sure that what Scott and I shared was a once in a lifetime kind of love. After a night of ups and downs, laughter through every part of it, and wearing his sweatshirt as a dress (mind you he is 6'7 and I am 5'4), I knew I wanted to marry this man.
Yes, I am 19 years old. Yes, I understand that people probably think I'm crazy. But when you know, you know... right? I had never been so sure of anything in my life.
Well, here we are in November 2012 and Scott and I are no longer together. Tell me ladies, how do I get over this boy? The past few months were full of ups and downs for the both of us and Scott just wasn't happy being with me anymore. It was heartbreaking to hear that he no longer felt the same way about me as he once did. I have tried to fight for him over this past month and show him that we can truly be happy together, but in the end, it just isn't what he wants. And because I truly do love him and want what's in his best interest, I have to respect that.
Today, all I can think about is this man. I am choosing to look at our relationship as a blessing and a lesson learned, because in the end, I feel that I am responsible for his unhappiness. I stopped doing the little things for him and almost got too comfortable in our relationship. Well, guess what, lesson learned! I have obviously been experiencing the single life this last month and I have to say, it's an interesting time being single in college!! It has really made me realize that Scott raised my standards for my future relationships. I am not willing to date any guy that comes along, and I am more than willing to wait for the guy that exceeds my standards. For the time being, I am going to do what makes me happy and just do me for awhile... Enjoy being by myself, ya know?
So ladies, if you're going through a heartbreak, you are most definitely not alone! I am right there with you and I think it's a kind of empowering thing to know that girls everywhere can stand alone and don't need to find their identity in a guy. Embrace being yourself and a guy will come along that will love everything about you and you'll understand why it never worked out with anyone else. Until that time, go for GNOs, treat yourself to a mani/pedi, get fit, DO YOU!
For all you single ladies out there, God is looking down on you right now, smiling because He is saving you for someone special :)
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