New Years

Can you believe it's the last day of 2012? Happy New Years Eve everyone! I don't know about you, but I feel like this year flew right by. When you think of New Years, what do you think about? Well for me, I think about ways to make the New Year better.. To do this, I usually make some resolutions, or goals, to follow throughout the year. With that being said, I figured I would share a few of mine. Keep in mind, some of these might be funny while others are more serious. Nevertheless, I had fun coming up with this list :)
Here we go:

1.  At the top of my list would have to be to build a closer and stronger relationship with the Lord.
2. Stop drinking orange juice right after I brush my teeth. When will I ever learn?
3. Read more books.
4. Spend less than $500 at Starbucks next year. Who knows how much I spent this year- absolutely freaks me out just thinking about it.
5. Be a "yes-girl"... Say yes to life :)
6. I want to make it really important to keep up with this blog. It's something I love doing and hope that you all enjoy it too!
7. I make an oath to squeeze the toothpaste bottle from the end rather than the middle.
8. Put more embarrassing items in random peoples' shopping carts in grocery stores. And learn to do it without laughing. If you have never done this before, well, shame on you. You should try it, it's fun (please do it with friends though so you don't look like a complete idiot by yourself)! And of course, it's completely harmless. :)
9. Lead others to Christ and step up in evangelism.
10. Stop pretending that it isn't time to take the garbage out yet by continuing to smash the trash down. And more importantly, just realize that it would have just been easier to take it out in the first place! I know my roommate will appreciate this one :)
11. Get up after no more than two snoozes of the alarm clock. Yikes, this will for sure be a challenge.
12. Switch up my workouts and find the joy in running..
13. Continue to sing in public places whenever I get the urge, despite the looks I may get. I enjoy embracing the moment, what can I say.
14. Don't eat medicine or vitamins just because they look like candy. I can eat an entire container of vitamin C tablets in one sitting.
15. Find a way to save about $250 and use it to fly out to see a best friend!
16. BEACH REACH!
17. Try a new food each week.
18. Be okay with letting people go that no longer serve me, grow me, or love me. If they walk away it's their choice. After all, God places every person in our life for one reason or another. Accept that and move on.
19. Get involved with LTG and challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone.
20. Find a job that I enjoy.. Or can at least stand.
21. Call a best friend that lives far away at least once a week and have a really good conversation with them.
22. I will try to figure out why I have a bajillion different passwords for internet sites. And maybe one day I will find the patience to fix them.
23. Use sunscreen... Even if it's only SPF 15. Better than nothing, right? I am realllly bad about this.
24. Road trip with friends!
25. Finish reading the Bible from front to back. According to my reading plan, I am 10% through!

Okay, well for right now that just about sums up my 2013 list!! Have a safe and wonderful New Years Eve readers! Be sure to bring in the New Year with the ones you love :)

Hope is essential

Hello again! Over the past few days, this idea of "hope" has been weighing heavily on my heart. Without hope, what do we have?

Sunday at church, our pastor, Rob Warren, spoke of the Christmas story and one of its components happens to be... yep you guessed it- HOPE. As long as we are living, hope is what gets us through. The hope to better humanity, the hope that one day we will have eternal life with God in the kingdom of heaven, the hope that tomorrow will be a better day. This is a universal concept and it goes without saying- it's important.

Then today I was spending time with a friend and we watched a movie. The idea of hope was a very prevalent theme within the movie. So, two days in a row, this concept has been talked about in length. Do you think that maybe God is trying to tell me something? I'd like to think so. He has His ways of showing up in the craziest times and in the craziest forms. 

If you've kept up with my blogs, you know what's been going on these last few weeks and you know it hasn't been the easiest time in my life. However, I am climbing up this mountain and over the obstacles in my life with a smile on my face and blessings pouring down on me. Blessings that I don't deserve, but nevertheless, our God is merciful. It's not always easy to look up. Sure, there have been days when I wake up and have to force myself to put on a smile. Yes, there are days when I am feeling down and out. But God has blessed me with a sense of peace throughout the most difficult times. These blessings have only been a result of struggle and triumph.

I have chosen hope. I have chosen strength. And I choose to give it all to the Lord. His plan will prevail. 

I am happy to say that while God has flipped my world upside down, He has blessed me with some amazing people to rely on, to get closer to, to help, to love. I get this feeling that I am right where I'm meant to be, with the people I'm meant to be with. I have been praying about this one certain relationship with someone in particular, and I am receiving only positive feedback in return. I pray that this relationship will continue to grow and blossom with God being the center. I have faith in it :) I will continue to have hope in the Lord that he knows what he's doing. After all, he did create all of the universe. Isn't that enough to give you hope? 

I am going to leave you with this verse in hope that you take it to heart and think about it. It's beautiful. 

Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5: 2-5 

Have a lovely week readers! 

Inspiration for those hard times

Hi Readers! I'm a little taken aback right now (for good reasons), so I figured what better time to blog, right? My life has taken a big turn in events since the last time I blogged. To say the least, I think I've felt every emotion within the last week and at the end of all of it, I am at a state of hopefulness. 

Last week, my gymnastics career was ended here at BGSU. Despite the reasoning behind it, it was heartbreaking. I invested 17 years of my life into the sport I love. After numerous surgeries, broken bones, sweat, tears, celebrations, victories, heartache, and more, it was all taken out from under my feet in just a few short seconds. As you can imagine, I felt lost. I felt like a part of my identity was tied to gymnastics and that it had helped shaped the person that I am today. So now what? 

Looking back a year ago, I would have never imagined my life being where it is today. And last week after hearing the news, I couldn't believe that this was all coming down on my shoulders. Some of the things I loved most- from my family and friends, to Scott, to gymnastics- was all being taken out of my life. Last Wednesday I felt empty handed, I felt alone, I felt ashamed, like I was being punished. 

I haven't shared too much on here about my faith but I think this is a perfect time to do so. I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember. I can't really remember a time when I didn't call myself a follower of Christ. I was involved in a youth group throughout high school and went on a couple retreats and then a mission trip to Monterrey, Mexico. It's safe to say that I was lukewarm in my faith. I knew I believed in God and loved him dearly, but only looked to Him when I needed Him. 

My freshman year of college, I stepped back from my faith and pretty much took myself out of the church scene completely- for reasons that I still don't understand today. I enjoyed my freshman year and the material things of this life along with the people I met seemed to satisfied me. I felt like I was doing just fine and that I could handle life without God's intervention.

Well, this year I came back to school and felt unsatisfied and hungry for something more. There was an empty space in my life that I couldn't explain. Pretty quickly into the semester, my boyfriend of a year and I began having problems and I realized that my identity was formed completely by my family, friends, boyfriend, gymnastics, and social life. I look back now and realize what a shaky foundation I had built my life on. Why hadn't I built my foundation on God and my faith? I get frustrated every time I ask myself that question. 

I began seeking God. As soon as Scott and I began having problems, I sought God because our relationship was something I NEVER wanted to lose. I hoped that He would help me out. Well, here I am today- without a boyfriend and no longer a gymnast. When I say it, I feel like I should be ashamed about losing those things in my life. But I can honestly say, I'm not. The people that love me and care about me have always seen me as more than what I gave myself credit for. They saw the real me when I was putting my identity in a shaky foundation. 

I realize now that God allowed for my life to fall apart because I needed to find my identity in Him. I thought it ironic that the semester I invest in Him the most, the more my life began falling apart. After a lot of praying and reflection, my life is being arranged in His perfect plan. I surrendered my life to Him and He was taking control. God's plan will always prevail. 

So now, I am currently applying for jobs, getting the social life I never had time for, and trying to set up my future to be the most that it can be. Through all of this, I have never felt more myself. I have never known myself so well. Until the moment of desperation, heartbreak, and turmoil, I don't believe you will ever truly understand your strength. I have that to be grateful for. 

A friend (s/o to Micheal haha) suggested a book to me and I finished it today. It's called "Walking Through the Darkness," by Jeff Warner. It was exactly what I needed to read and hear. God truly reminded me that my suffering is not being done in vain, but for the betterment of His kingdom. What a comfort, right? Redemptive suffering. Such a beautiful experience. I highly recommend this book! 

Sorry for yet another really long post, but my hope is that if you too are going through some major life changes or hurt, that you will take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Are you willing to follow God in spite of the hurt that you are experiencing? Join me in the quest for joy and purpose. You're never alone. God is always with you :) 

Until next time! 

'Tis the Season

Hi Readers!

I hope everyone had an awesome and fulfilling Turkey Day! If you're like me, you spent allll day yesterday shopping and today working out. 'Tis the season, right?

Well, as I have been home for a few days now, I am feeling rejuvenated and loving life. Spending time with my family always has a way of doing that for me. Just seeing smiles and hearing laughs from my family is such a heart warming time for me (because it hasn't always been that way with my family). Spending time away from college put a lot of things in perspective for me and really showed me how incredibly blessed my life is. Through the heartbreaks and obstacles that have been ever so prevalent since I started my sophomore year, this trip home was exactly what I needed :)

On an even more exciting note, it's Christmas season!! I am currently blasting Christmas music and singing along. What can I say, this time of year always puts me in the best of moods. Seriously, I'm like a little kid in a candy store. I have already been searching through pinterest and other websites to find new recipes that I would like to make for Christmas. To say the least, I am all about going all out for Christmas. What's your favorite recipe? Any recommendations? Feel free to email me :)

While Christmas trees, Santa, stockings, warm fires, hot cocoa, and Christmas lights are all a good time and should be enjoyed by all, it's always ingrained in my mind the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus has done so much for me throughout my life and continues to work in me today. This season is a time to give thanks to the man upstairs and glorify Him in all that we do. So while we're busy making plans and decorating our trees, it's always a good idea to set aside time to value the true meaning behind all of it.

Hohoho!
Embrace the holiday spirit :)

Funny How My Life Resembles My Closet

Do you ever feel like everything in your life is working against you? That you're drowning in your own life and no one can save you but yourself? Well, welcome to my life. Today is just one of those days where the issues and heartbreaks are very prevalent and on the surface.

My mom is one of the most important people in my life and I hate when we don't get along. Over the last two weeks, we've talked very little and when we do talk, we normally end up arguing. For sake of personal details, I won't tell you what the issue is, but nevertheless, I hate fighting with her. She isn't only a mother to me, but also one of my best friends. I'm sure a lot of you can relate. Our fights don't normally last this long but this morning we definitely got into it and I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm supposed to be going home for Thanksgiving but I'm not so sure that is in the plan anymore. How do I fix this?

Scott was always the one person that could cheer me up and I could count on always being there. The one person that could make everything okay is no longer in my life. It sucks when all I want to do is talk to him and have him hold me.

Two of the single most important people in my life are no where to be found. One of them has no interest in talking to me at the moment, and the other, well who knows what Scott is up to these days. Awesome, right? Definitely feeling like I hit the jackpot this morning. Sarcasm in full swing today.

It's times like these that I can't seem to understand why God is putting me in these situations. I end up pointing the finger at myself. If I could go back and do things differently, I would. But life doesn't work that way. And today, I feel like life is throwing lemons at me fasting than I can make lemonade.

On top of everything, I feel like death. Gymnastics is definitely taking a toll on my body. To put it mildly, I feel like I got hit by a train. To be honest though, this is the least of my problems. I'm just praying for some kind of miracle in this department.

In an effort to make the day a little better, I stop by Starbucks to pick up my favorite, a fat free chai tea latte. It's literally like Christmas in a cup. Unfortunately, the line was a mile long and as you can imagine, I have no patience for that on a day like today. I guess I should just go back to cleaning out my closet at this point. Maybe my life will follow.

Hopefully you all are having a better day than I am!
Cheers (coffee-less) to this terrible Tuesday.

Relationships 101

Wow! Look's like I got a lot of hits yesterday... Thanks to everyone for reading my blog! Today I feel like I just need to spill some things that have been weighing very heavy on my heart lately. Ladies, you're going to love this one :) 

As I mentioned in my previous post, I dated a guy for a year. We began dating in October 2011 of my freshman year of college. He is 2 years older than me and an absolute gem. Just recently (about a month ago) he ended things. As you can imagine, it's been a roller coaster type month full of emotions. 

When we began dating, we had the relationship that everyone around us wanted. We were the typical "love birds" and he was the perfect boyfriend. I genuinely felt like God has placed this man in my life for a reason. I had waited out for the most part in the dating scene and I felt that Scott was my reward. In May 2012, I flew out to Cali to visit Scott's family. It was during that trip that I knew I could spend a lifetime and more with him. I have never felt stronger for a person than I did about Scott. We spent a night just outside San Francisco and it was one of the best nights of my life, which is ironic because the night ended as such a disaster!! 

Let me just take you through that evening. We went out to dinner with his Aunt at an Italian restaurant in Saucalito. It was my first time meeting his Aunt and I was overwhelmed with joy when meeting her. She is the kind of person that lights up a room when you talk to her and you can't help but smile :) She is truly an amazing person. After spending time with her that night, Scott and I were to spend the night at his Grandma's condo. His grandma was out of town and we were told there would be a spare key outside on her porch. Well, after an hour or so of searching every square inch possible, we concluded that we should just stay with his Aunt. On the way back to his aunt's house, I cried in the car as he was driving... Pure tears of happiness. I had never felt so happy in my life, so in tune with another person, so in love, so sure that what Scott and I shared was a once in a lifetime kind of love. After a night of ups and downs, laughter through every part of it, and wearing his sweatshirt as a dress (mind you he is 6'7 and I am 5'4), I knew I wanted to marry this man. 

Yes, I am 19 years old. Yes, I understand that people probably think I'm crazy. But when you know, you know... right? I had never been so sure of anything in my life. 

Well, here we are in November 2012 and Scott and I are no longer together. Tell me ladies, how do I get over this boy? The past few months were full of ups and downs for the both of us and Scott just wasn't happy being with me anymore. It was heartbreaking to hear that he no longer felt the same way about me as he once did. I have tried to fight for him over this past month and show him that we can truly be happy together, but in the end, it just isn't what he wants. And because I truly do love him and want what's in his best interest, I have to respect that. 

Today, all I can think about is this man. I am choosing to look at our relationship as a blessing and a lesson learned, because in the end, I feel that I am responsible for his unhappiness. I stopped doing the little things for him and almost got too comfortable in our relationship. Well, guess what, lesson learned! I have obviously been experiencing the single life this last month and I have to say, it's an interesting time being single in college!! It has really made me realize that Scott raised my standards for my future relationships. I am not willing to date any guy that comes along, and I am more than willing to wait for the guy that exceeds my standards. For the time being, I am going to do what makes me happy and just do me for awhile... Enjoy being by myself, ya know? 

So ladies, if you're going through a heartbreak, you are most definitely not alone! I am right there with you and I think it's a kind of empowering thing to know that girls everywhere can stand alone and don't need to find their identity in a guy. Embrace being yourself and a guy will come along that will love everything about you and you'll understand why it never worked out with anyone else. Until that time, go for GNOs, treat yourself to a mani/pedi, get fit, DO YOU! 

For all you single ladies out there, God is looking down on you right now, smiling because He is saving you for someone special :) 

Getting Started!

Helllllllo readers! I'm warning you right now, this first post is going to be a pretty boring one. I just have to get the intro out there and then I'm sure there will be more interesting things to talk about in the days to come. But first, I'd just like to say that I am sooo very excited to start blogging! For a few months now I have been wanting to start a blog, mainly because I have so many thoughts I'd love to get out in the open... So for you girls out there, and even the guys, I am hoping you'll relate to the posts to come and continue to visit back to my blog! 

For starters, I am a sophomore in college and I attend Bowling Green State University. I am studying to become a marine biologist. Yes, I love fish! I am a member of the BGSU gymnastics team and have been doing gymnastics for almost 17 years. It has always been my passion and I have been blessed to have the opportunity to compete as an NCAA gymnast. 

My top priority in my life is my family. Although small, we are mighty. I would be no where without my mom, aunt and grandma. They have been my everything, my rock, and my role models.

 My team has made college such an amazing experience

and I cannot imagine having a closer knit group of friends.

My mom, my best friend, my rock. Through thick 

and thin, we have been through 

everything together and always come out

stronger because of it.

My "sister" and best friend, Alexis. This girl knows 

everything about me and still manages to love me!

A true blessing in my life.

Oh, this man. Scott was my 

boyfriend of a year. We began 

dating in October of 2011. He 

has shown me what it truly means to 

love. Scott has impacted my life 

more than he will ever know and I 

am so excited to see where 

life takes him. 

If you kept reading to this point, I am thoroughly impressed and I can promise a much more interesting post for next time! 

Stay tuned and enjoy the nice weather this weekend if you live in the midwest!